How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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