I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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