Kiss
Puke
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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