Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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