Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize