Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
