My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
