Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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