Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
