I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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