I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize
