Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
