You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
