Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
