I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
