that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
it's like iHOP with fire
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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