everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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