That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
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