When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
