So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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