i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I have demons in me.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
