i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize