yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
