i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
