My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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