Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
