Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
