sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The uberlube is also flammable
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
