haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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