I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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