don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize