He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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