get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize