Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
