My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
