I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize
