Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
