so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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