So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
