Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
