I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
