You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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