this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
