I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize