Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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