K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
