I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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