I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
