your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
