i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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