can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
