The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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