he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize