I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
