Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
