there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
