I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
