Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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